How Are Your Relationships Since You Lost Weight?


I became so much healthier physically and mentally after #weight loss surgery. One big surprise was that my relationships have become healthier as well. You might say that any that were not as healthy pre-surgery have faded away on their own in some cases.

The world seems to treat you differently when they perceive you as a “normal” person because you are slim, trim and beautiful. You might ask, “What IS a healthy relationship?” In my view, a healthy relationship is anchored in reciprocity and authenticity. A frequent common denominator of some of my previous relationships was weight-related. We commiserated with each other around the dissatisfaction of being overweight and unhealthy and our activities around futile attempts to lose the excess pounds. I am eternally grateful for these relationships because they provide support in lots of other non-weight related areas. Actually, I still need these relationships and if some folks perceive me differently post-weight loss, then I hope the ups and downs of my #Bariatric Wellness Journey can inspire them on theirs.

I find that relationships with men generally take on one of three different reactions. When they see the new me, they are super complimentary and supportive, then go about behaving the same as before. On the other side, others have a hard time making eye contact, make no mention of the new me and sneak in a compliment quiet enough so their partners don’t hear anything. I feel like I need to go to confession, but I can’t figure out why. There is a third group, others who are also post-bariatric, to them, I become a comrade and sometimes a mentor. Reactions from women are much more diverse, ranging from super-affirming to never calling me again. Most immediately mention their own weight-related challenges.

You might wonder how it’s affected my close relationships such as with my spouse and sisters. With my husband it’s a cat and mouse game. He wavers between being proud of me and chasing me around the house. I don’t mind. (). With my sisters, I’m no longer the “fat” one. We can shop together and it’s fun. We can even wear one another’s clothes. I’m fortunate that they’re so supportive.

My relationship with myself has changed too. I recognize that I matter and I take time for myself to do the things I want. I engage in activities I would never have attempted pre-surgery.
Yes, your relationships will change post-surgery, but the people who truly love and support you, will be there for you. It’s something to meditate about in your early morning sessions.

For more about surgery and relationships, click this link.

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